


After, And After That

by aban_ataashi



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Rarepair, grieving and healing and finding second love, post-epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 19:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13724523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/pseuds/aban_ataashi
Summary: “So you’re here with Keyleth?”“Yeah,” Grog replied, not thinking much of the question until he noticed the way Vex was looking at him. “What?”“I mean… you’re herewithKeyleth?” she pressed, raising an eyebrow.Oh.A collection of moments after the epilogue, as two members of Vox Machina grieve and heal and grow, and eventually find something neither ever could have expected.





	After, And After That

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This one-shot came about for two reasons- I love Grogleth, and I love the story of people being able to love someone and lose them and grieve and hurt and heal and go on to love someone again. Enjoy!

From the very beginning, Keyleth knew there would be an _after._ She didn’t know it would come so soon. She’d hoped that it would take years and years and years, a whole life, and even that wouldn’t be enough but it would at least be something close to fair.

It still didn’t seem real at first. They all knew it was coming, and were expecting a fight. But Vax went peacefully, with nothing but a few gentle words and trail of snowdrops. The finality of it all didn’t truly hit Keyleth until that night, when she hugged Trinket and sobbed until she finally fell into an exhausted sleep.

They all stayed in Whitestone for a short time, sharing their grief for a few days as the world celebrated their victory. And then life kept moving. Keyleth returned to her people. They needed her, and although the responsibility still weighed heavy on her shoulders, it helped to have something to occupy her time and her mind. It was a small, bitter comfort at times to imagine what Vax would say if he could see her now, being the leader he had always believed she could be.

 

* * *

 

 

It was a glorious death. Grog had to give Vax that much. They defeated a god and saved the whole fuckin’ world. As far as deaths went, you couldn’t get much better than that. For Goliaths, that was what mattered. For Goliaths, death was common, and a worthy death was the most you could hope for.

Grog saw the sense in that. Didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.

Grog spent the first few months after Vecna’s defeat drifting through the land, sometimes alone and sometimes with Pike and Scanlan at his side. There was some unattended business that needed dealing with, so he that’s what he did. And maybe on some mornings he’d wake up and rub his beard, wishing he could look in the mirror and find it half-shaved, one more time.

 

* * *

 

 

Over the next year, all of Vox Machina found the time to visit Keyleth in Zephrah. It was always good to see them- they were her family as much as the Ashari were. She missed them fiercely when they were gone, and was always delighted to see them at the Zephrah gates.

But it was also hard. Vox Machina had never existed without Vax, and seeing them again was always a sharp reminder. It brought up the flurry of emotions that she’d already spent so much time trying to sort out.

When Grog came to visit, it was a little easier. He’d always had a way of making things simple.  She was surprised when he showed up alone; last she’d heard, he was near Emon with Pike and Scanlan.

“They’ve been gettin’ all mushy lately,” Grog explained. “Figured I’d give ‘em a little time on their own. ‘Sides, I haven’t been here since you finished your Aramente.” The memory of that day- the ceremony, the pride, her family, _Vax-_ brings a brittle smile to Keyleth’s face.

Grog spent his time in Zephrah wandering the city, often playing with the children who viewed him as a literally larger-than-life legend.  And because he’s Grog, Keyleth makes sure to introduce him to Zephrah’s best tavern. They drank and talked and inevitably began trading memories of their adventures.

“The little shit,” Grog chuckled after recalling one of Vax’s prank attempts. He glanced at Keyleth, as if afraid he’d just made her upset, and she waved her hand at him.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m okay. And I don’t get to talk about him enough. I mention him to anyone here and they start acting weird and it just gets… really depressing.”

Grog nodded, although he was still watching her a touch of concern. “How’ve you been doing up here? Honestly.”

“I’m- _,”_ Keyleth started to say _I’m fine_ , but stopped herself. “I think I’m still pretty fucked up over it. Aren’t we all? And it’s more than just being upset, I’m…” Keyleth struggled for words, wondering if she was making any sense at all. “I feel like if I _can’t_ stop hurting. And then some days I’m kind of okay, but then I feel guilty about _that_ and it all comes back even worse. And I need to be strong, and I need to be a leader, and I don’t want people here treating me like broken glass. And nine days out of ten I can handle it, but sometimes I just want to-” Keyleth searched for but couldn’t find any, and just slammed her fist on the table. “Do you know what I mean?”

Grog, who had sat silent throughout her rant, considered the question. “I don’t know a lot of things,” he finally admitted. He pointed to her fist, still clenched on the table. “But I do know about _that._ Sometimes you just gotta let yourself be angry.”

Keyleth sighed. “I’m already angry. I just don’t know what to _do_ with it.”

“Use it!” Grog said, as if it were obvious. “You gotta let it out at some point!”

Keyleth thought back to that day in Whitestone, lifetimes ago, when Raishan had been alive and Keyleth had been burning with an anger she could never have imagined before. “You said once before you could teach me. Is that still an offer?”

“’Course!” Grog’s face lit up, the previous somberness of the conversation fading away. That was one of the things Keyleth had missed about drinking with Grog- he could always bounce back from a heavy conversation. No judgment over outbursts, no worrying. He ordered another round of drinks. “How about tomorrow?”

Keyleth shrugged and reached for another cup of ale. “Yeah, why the hell not?”

She regretted her words the next morning. It had been a long time since she’d used Greater Restoration for the alcohol-related ailments. But she was actually looking forward to her plans for the day, so she forced herself out of bed and met Grog in the Zephrah woods.

“So… what’s first?” she asked him, feeling somewhat awkward.

“First,” Grog said, “stop thinking.” He took a wide stance in front of her and held up his hands, palms facing outward. He grinned. “Hit me.”

Keyleth knew Grog well enough to know he wasn’t joking. She’d hit him a few times before, and had done more damage to her hand than she ever had to him. But she took a deep breath, clenched her fist, and began throwing punches.

Grog shouted encouragement, hardly phased by the blows. “Come on! Gimme a battle cry!”

Keyleth gave a self-conscious shout, which didn’t seem to impress Grog. “I know you can do more than that!” He gave a cry of his own, a roar that immediately brought back memories of the countless battles they’d fought together. Grog always at the front, Vex and Percy firing from afar, Scanlan and Pike and herself with their magic, and Vax, somehow everywhere at once.

A wordless roar ripped itself from Keyleth’s throat, and she threw her fist forward, full of recklessness and adrenaline and _rage._

The punch landed squarely against Grog’s large palm, and the Goliath stumbled back a step. He grinned wildly. “ _Yeah!”_

The rest of the morning was spent in the same fashion, and by the time they were done Keyleth’s hands were ringing from the echoes of her blows and her head was dizzy with the rush of spent energy. She collapsed against a nearby tree, breathing heavily.

“Feelin’ better?” Grog asked, and Keyleth nodded. At the moment she was too exhausted to even speak, but it was true. Maybe not _okay,_ but a bit of the weight had lifted from her chest, and she felt more at peace than she had in a long time.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Although they all went their separate ways, Whitestone always seemed to hold at least one member of Vox Machina at any given time. Vex and Percy were a given, considering their titles and, eventually, the new additions to their family. The others drifted in and out as their situations allowed, visiting for from mere days to months at a time.

Grog, of course, made sure to check in regularly and make sure that all of his affairs were in order as Grand Poobah de Doink of All This And That. It was very important.

Grog’s main duty as of late was to work on his reading. It was important for a Grand Poobah to know smart things like that, no how much it sucked to go through the process of learning them. It wasn’t so bad when Pike was around to help. She was a good teacher.

But today she was busy, helping at the Sarenrae temple. The others Grog usually asked for help were also unavailable. Percy was around here somewhere, but Grog had asked him for help before and hadn’t understood a word of the guy’s mouth for the whole ten minutes the lesson lasted.

So Grog sat by himself in the Whitestone library, a thick book open on the table in front of him. He stared at the words and let out a long sigh.

A moment later, a red, antlered head poked through the door of the library. “Grog?”

Grog looked up, grateful for the distraction. “Keyleth! Didn’t know you were here!”

She smiled and ducked under the doorway into the library. “It was a bit last minute, I just came through the Sun Tree today. How’s the reading going?”

“Good.”

“Really?”

“No.” Grog pushed the book away. “I’m fuckin’ bored.”

Keyleth gave him a sympathetic smile. “Want some company?”

As it turned out, Keyleth was a pretty good teacher. Over the next week, she helped him through nearly a whole chapter of the book he’d been working on.

“You know what you need?” she said, sprawled across a chair in the library after another reading session. “You need something more interesting than these books. What do you read for fun?”

The look on Grog’s face must have answered her question. Keyleth smiled as if she had an idea. “You know what you need? A pen pal! _And_ it will help with your writing!”

Grog frowned. His reading might be improving, but his writing wasn’t much to speak of. “I don’t know about that…”

“But this will help. It’s like… it’s like training!” Keyleth said. “You know how you have to do certain exercises to make yourself stronger? Writing is an exercise to make your reading muscles stronger. Does that make sense?”

Grog paused and thought about it. “I think so.”

“And if we write letters we won’t have to wait until we’re both in Whitestone again to talk to each other.”

That… actually didn’t sound so bad.  “Okay, I will.”

And he did. His letters were short and messy, but with Pike’s help he wrote them and sent them out weekly to Zephrah. Sometimes he included little things he thought might make her happy- flowers, stones, little drawings he’d made to go along with the letter. Keyleth wrote him back. Her letters were longer, and it took him a while to get through them, but she was right- it was good practice. And Grog liked her letters a lot better than the books from the Whitestone library.

 

* * *

 

 

Keyleth rushed through the streets of Vasselheim, hoping she wasn’t too late. She could hear the cheering even from here, and as the volume of the yells increased so did her pace. At last the crowds came into view, and Keyleth soon found herself elbowing her way through to the edge of the pit. Scanlan was there already, and waved as Keyleth passed by. She would join him in the stands, but she still had a few minutes before the next fight started.

Grog wasn’t hard to spot. He was on the edge of the ring about, surrounded by fans. He and Pike were legends in Vassalheim, by far the most famous contestants. His face lit up when he saw Keyleth waving enthusiastically, and he pushed through his fans to embrace her in a crushing hug.

“You made it!”

“I said I would!” she laughed, out of breath. “Where’s Pike?”

“Whupping ass,” Grog said proudly, gesturing to the pit. “I’m up next. It’s gonna be a good one this year, I can feel it.”

A bright flash lit up from the pit, and the audience became even more frenzied. Keyleth laughed. “Sounds like I made it just in time to see her win. I better join Scanlan before I miss the show. Kick some ass!” She hugged Grog again, fingers lingering over his bare shoulders as she pulled away, and on impulse she rose on her tiptoes and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

As her lips left Grog’s cheek, Keyleth’s brief surge of courage faded and she felt her face begin to flush. She took an awkward step back and hurriedly said, “Good luck!” before turning and fleeing into the crowd. She chanced a single look back at Grog, who seemed taken aback but pleased.

Luckily, Scanlan was too preoccupied to notice Keyleth’s red face as she approached. He was standing on his seat, fist thrust in the air as Pike brought her mace down on an orc’s head.

“ _That’s my wife!”_  he shouted, not even noticing Keyleth until she took her seat next to him. Afterwards, when the arena was being cleaned of blood in preparation for the next fight, he looked over at Keyleth and grinned.

“You seem to be in a good mood today.”

“Do I?” Keyleth asked nervously.

“Well, you’re smiling.”

Keyleth brought her fingers to her lips, mildly surprised to find that he was right. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

 

* * *

 

 

The wedding was nice. Long, though, and they had to listen to a lot of talking before they were allowed to talk. A _lot_ of talking. But still, it was nice. Grog sat next to Keyleth, who gazed around the room with an odd expression.

“You good?” he asked her once, his voice low under the sound of the piano. He knew that she still got sad sometimes at stuff like this, but she nodded.

“Yeah, I’m…I’m okay.” Her voice was quiet but steady, and that was good. A giggle rose to her lips as Elaina made her way down the aisle, throwing rose petals into the air with admirable force, and Grog smiled, too.

The ceremony was… well, boring. The piano played for a long time and the room was hot, and it took a few instances of Keyleth elbowing him sharply in the ribs for Grog to stay awake through the whole thing. He perked up when Pike came out, giving her a thumbs-up as she stood at the front of the room and began talking. Taryon and Lawrence stood in front of her, smiling and clasping hands, and although Grog wasn’t really one for sappy stuff like this, he supposed it was nice. If you like that sort of thing.

Keyleth glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Grog lied.

When the ceremony finished, they finally got to eat. As the evening went on the music turned livelier, led by an enthusiastic Scanlan, and soon enough the room was full of people dancing. Grog was settled at a table, finishing off a leg of chicken and mug of ale, surveying the room. Tary was in one corner, deep in conversation with Lawrence and Vex- probably regaling his husband with exaggerated tales of his adventuring days. Percival was on the dance floor, swaying in awkward circles as a laughing Elaina stood on his feet.

Keyleth was a few tables away. Her attention for most of the evening had been dominated by Freddie and Ursa, who adored their Aunt Keyleth. Grog watched as she leaned towards Ursa and cupped her hands, her red hair falling like a curtain over her face. With a flourish, she opened her hands wide to reveal the pink flower she had just crafted. The youngest de Rolo’s eyes grew wide as Keyleth laughed and tucked the flower behind her hair.

“Enjoying yourself, Grog?”

Grog looked up to see Vex approaching with a warm smile. She collapsed in the chair next to Grog and sighed. “I’m _tired._ Isn’t that weird? Who knew a wedding could be so exhausting?” She slipped her feet out of her heels and tucked them under dress, reaching across the table as she did so to steal a sip of Grog’s ale.

“Hey!”

Vex slapped his hand away when he tried to grab his ale back. “You’ve had plenty! What are you doing over here by yourself, anyway?” Her sharp eyes swept around the room until they landed where Grog’s gaze had been moments before. A small smile spread across her face.

“So you’re here with Keyleth?”

“Yeah,” Grog replied, not thinking much of the question until he noticed the way Vex was looking at him. “What?”

“I mean… you’re here _with_ Keyleth?” she pressed, raising an eyebrow.

Oh.

“S’not like that,” Grog stammered, “I’m _here_ with Keyleth. Like I’m here with you. And Pike. And Tary.”

Vex grinned mischievously. “I’ve never seen you stare at Tary like that.”

Grog scoffed, shaking his head vigorously. “Come on. It’s _Keyleth.”_

“So?”

“So…it’s Keyleth.” It was obvious, wasn’t it? “She’s family, right? I mean, I like to talk to her. And she’s fun. We fight good together. And, okay, she’s pretty-” Vex laughed at that, and Grog hurried on. “But even if I wanted to- and I’m not saying I do- it’s Keyleth.”

Vex was still smiling, but her eyes had softened and grown a bit distant. She was quiet for a moment, and then in a soft voice said, “He loved both of you, you know.”

Grog didn’t say anything, and Vex kept talking. “He was always so good at that, at loving people. I don’t know he managed sometimes, but he did.” Her eyes flickered across the room again.

“I always felt guilty… well, for a lot of things, but a big one was the whole elopement thing. He wanted to be there for me. But I didn’t let him, and now he can’t be. But he was never angry. He just wanted me to find happiness, and he was glad that I did. So if two people he loved were able to be happy together… I think he’d like that.”

A soft silence settled over the pair for a moment, until Vex stretched and stood up again. “Think about it, darling,” she said, before heading out to the dance floor. She approached Percy and Elaina with a curtsy, then cut in, twirling her daughter in a circle as Percy watched with a fond smile.

Thinking wasn’t usually Grog’s greatest skill, but he sat there and thought. If he was being honest...yes, of course he liked Keyleth. Maybe even more than liked her. And they’d been spending a lot of time together. But he wasn’t sure how she felt about anything more than that, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

At Keyleth’s table, the late night was finally starting to affect the younger guests. Ursa had fallen asleep in her chair, Keyleth’s flower still tucked behind her ear, and Freddie looked about to follow. Keyleth’s attention was on the stage, where Scanlan was pulling a laughing Pike up to sing with him. She listened to the music with a wistful expression, and when she caught Grog’s eye she smiled.

Grog wasn’t great at thinking, so he stopped thinking and approached Keyleth. He bowed ceremoniously and held out a hand. “Lady Keyleth.”

She smiled wryly. “Grand Poobah.”

“Would you… care to dance?”

 A contemplative look crossed her face. “I’m not actually a very good dancer.”

Grog shrugged. “S’okay. I’m not either.” Keyleth laughed and took his hand.

 

* * *

 

 

Keyleth had always loved the woods. It was peaceful here; not too quiet or too loud, a delicate balance between wilderness and comfort. She came to places like this a lot to be alone.

She wasn’t alone today.

Grog walked alongside her. They weren’t going anywhere in particular. They were just walking and talking, enjoying the day and each other’s company. There was no particular path to follow, and every now and then Keyleth would shift into her Minxy form and climb through the trees as Grog clambered below.

The shifts between conversation and silence were easy and natural, and everything felt okay. It felt more than okay. It felt good, and Keyleth was happy. There was still the ghost of guilt that flitted through her heart every now and then. It didn’t make sense, but it was there.

Keyleth watched Grog walk ahead, his eye caught by some bright flowers, and sighed. She closed her eyes, wondering what Vax would have to say about all of this. She couldn’t know. She wasn’t good at putting her feeling into words the way he had been. While it was true she’d always known there would be a time _after_ Vax, she had never pictured another person, not like this. She could never have guessed Grog.

But it felt right. And she didn’nt know what Vax would say, but she could guess. He would tell her to stop being so hard on herself. He would tell her to trust herself, and to let herself be happy.

Keyleth let out a deep breath, opening her eyes and looking up at the sky. A flock of birds were flying across the sky above, their silhouettes dark against the horizon. A feeling of warmth blossomed in Keyleth’s chest, and for the first time in a long time she felt certain about something.

Grog returned with a handful of daffodils and a playful smile. When he offered them to Keyleth with a bashful smile, she rose on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the mouth. The kiss lasted only a moment before she pulled away, just a fraction of an inch, to gauge his reaction. He hesitated for one brief second, then leaned forward into another kiss. This one was deeper, and longer, and Keyleth wrapped her arms around Grog as his hands ran through her hair.

Their day together was far from over. Eventually they would break away, and they would continue their walk. And Keyleth was happy, because she was in an _after,_ but she wasn’t at the end.


End file.
